I was miserable. Still miserable. He was my first love. He was the husband I see next to me. I know.. its cheesy. I'm a hopeless romantic or maybe just hopeless. I don't know if anyone out there have ever felt this way before, you know the feeling when you know that you are going to cry over the same heart break from the same guy every day of your life. This is the worst heart ache I have ever had so far. Like I'm crying when I'm alone so I try to avoid being left out in one place. I hate being alone. Whenever I think of him, I doodle on my notebook or any piece of paper I see or I even do origami (Which I'm not good at), I avoid chick flicks, I will grab the remote from my sister or my mom just to change the channel. I stopped reading romantic novels even though I love them. I deactivated all my social networks and turned off my phone. So as you can see, I'm miserable.
I keep telling myself that I'm going to be fine.. I'm going to be okay.. I'm going to be happy again.. and I find it hard to believe that. You know the awesome advice you give to your friends but you yourself can't even follow your own advice. Sad truth.
There are times I regret breaking up with him.. and realize how I miss him. But what I failed to remember sometimes, I deserve better. He is a great guy. What we shared was love and that was the happiest days of my life but maybe we are not for forever. I know deep down inside that maybe this is a good thing. Maybe...
I hope someday, we can see each other.. maybe with someone else.. I hope to see him happy even if its no longer with me...
So, Maybe my HAPPY ENDING is MOVING ON..
Here's a song that I would like to dedicate to you.. J.
"After all that we've been through.. I know we're cool."
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